Elevator Pitch

A salesperson in my office was speaking to a client and said, "This is Smeeta speaking from HT."
The person at the other end didn't understand so she said, "HT. HT! H for Hitler, T for Testosterone."

Good luck getting business out of them, Smeeta.

Old McDonald

Things my husband has said in the last 3 minutes:

1. I'm gonna raise this issue with Ronald McDonald
2. I feel like throwing a stone at McDonald's
3. This is against human rights

His lower lip quivered and I can swear his eyes shone with unshed tears.
I am not kidding, he looked shocked and betrayed. He went silent for a whole minute until the guy taking the order said, "Yes Sir, I'm sure. Shake Shake Fries have been discontinued."

Sing one we know.

He is a singer.
Actually, no.
He is a 3-time Grammy award-winning singer.
He is the only Indian performer ever at a Pavarotti and Friends concert.
He has been on the cover of Rolling Stone. Twice.
His first ever single was #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 for 14 weeks in a row. He donated his entire earning from that album to Greenpeace.
And then he sang a song about it.
He has been pursued by A.R. Rahman  for a song for the last 11 years. But he has declined politely because he has been 'busy with other stuff'.
Actually, no.
My husband is a singer because he believes he is a singer.

hawa ban ke

I was at HyperCity yesterday, and ahead of me in the aisle was a little kid, strolling his cart with his mom. The 3-foot-nothing thief kept picking up things from the shelves and slyly tossed them in the cart. After 2 packs of Oreos and a box of Choco Pie, his mom looked straight ahead and said with a deadpan expression, "Karan, none of that is going home with us." His look of feigned innocence gave him away and his mom broke into a smile. And Karan got his way.

*

Ireland.
One country I've always dreamt of going to. One country I always dream of going to.

I knocked over my Oral B floss yesterday. At the base it read "Made in Ireland". And suddenly - just for a flash - I was in Ireland. And I loved it. I haven't bothered to straighten the floss to a vertical position. It doesn't matter that it doesn't fit among my other perfectly organized set of toiletries. I just like to see the 'make'. So that I can be reminded of things I must do, places I must see... and the person I must be.

*

When I was in college, I used to be able to relate to so many songs. So many songs that felt like they'd been sung just for me.

Lately... there's no such song.
Okay, so maybe there's one such song.

*

This evening I looked at the plants in my balcony and said, "I hope - for your sake and mine - that it rains."

And it did. It finally did.